Copyright ©2005-2020. | Perez Hilton, Charli D'Amelio Is Faking It! Michelle always knew she was destined to become a star, she just didn't know how to get there. Despite its abject awfulness and facepalm-inducing premise, The Assignment has a stellar cast featuring legends such as Sigourney Weaver as Dr. Rachel Jane, a deranged plastic surgeon who is now institutionalized. Dr. Jane claims it's due to toxic masculinity and that she has "liberated" Frank from his "macho prison." Michelle Rodriguez, Actress: Avatar. Is this too cheesy to be offensive? Copy/paste this link to re-w, Officials found a huge metal monolith in a rural p, Kevin Hart is catching heat on social media for a, Kristin Cavallari had a LOT to say in a recent win, she plays a hitman who undergoes gender reassignment surgery. Michelle Rodriguez says she'll probably return for more 'Fast & Furious' Michelle Rodriguez says Vin Diesel will probably convince her to return to Fast & Furious Movies // September 11, 2017 And check out the podcast Rewatchability. Michelle Rodriguez Goes Full Frontal In New Clip Of The Assignment — See Her Male Hitman Character Learn He Now Has A Vag! Then, years later, found the script while literally "rummaging" in his cellar. Before things go full Tusk, Frank uses his newfound lady-parts to seduce the tragically horny goons. You will willingly embrace the investment of millions of dollars into this idea. When we meet Frank he's played by Michelle Rodriguez from The Fast and the Furious and "Oh yeah, Michelle Rodriguez was in Lost..." fame. Led by a guy who seemingly underwent Huey Lewis-ification surgery. Halsey is NOT happy with her Grammys nomination sn, George Clooney claims he uses a Flowbee to cut his, This was unexpected!! Hill admitted that he has a "limited understanding" of trans rights issues, so it's extra-puzzling that he would attempt to tackle such a sensitive issue with all the sensitivity of a gorilla juggling chainsaws. What do U think, Perezious Readers? Hill bought the rights to the script but forgot all about it. The second important thing to note about The Assignment is that it was immediately derided for its tone-deaf, transphobic content. Saban FilmsAll things considered, there are far worse ways to open a movie. George Clooney Says He Uses A Flowbee To Cut His Hair Himself, And Has 'For 25 Years'! Cracked is published by Literally Media Ltd., Presumably so streaming sites would place it next to the equally-nuanced examination of gender identity that is. Saban FilmsIt's all, frankly, confusing as hell. | Perez Hilton, Megan Fox Is A Wackadoodle! You were given multiple opportunities to pump the breaks on this idea; to decide "Hey, wait a minute, this was a garbage idea that never needed to exist as anything other than a fleeting moment of my dumb imagination.". All things considered, there are far worse ways to open a movie. but is also known by titles such as Tomboy and Ladyguy. John Travolta Thanks Supporters In Emotional Thanksgiving Message Months After Kelly Preston's Death. Mayte Michelle Rodriguez was born on July 12, 1978 in San Antonio, Texas to Carmen Milady Pared Espinal, a Dominican housewife & Rafael Rodríguez Santiago, a Puerto Rican U.S. Army solider. The trans community already has to put up with unnecessarily cruel forms of systemic discrimination, presumably depicting a vital (often frustratingly unattainable) medical procedure as a Jigsaw-like torture technique isn't helping. -- which is at least a tad more restrained than, say reciting all of The Giving Tree but adding "suck on my balls and choke" at the end. Dr. Jane recounts her approximately hour and forty-five story which involves wreaking vengeance on the guy who killed her brother, a hit-man named Frank Kitchen (possibly because the screenwriter was naming all of his characters while simultaneously making a sandwich). Well, at least we know this movie doesn’t plan on taking itself seriously. Skin, Frank Kitchen (a.k.a. This might be a good time to address two very important things about this movie. Copyright © 2020 PerezHilton.com | All Rights Reserved, The System Is Rigged For Charli D'Amelio To Succeed! Human actors will say your words out loud while skilled technicians record them. Saban FilmsAh, the ol' Bugs Bunny seduction technique. It's truly amazing that this feature-length film exists and was conceived and completed by actual adult human beings likely capable of self-doubt and introspection. Known for tough-chick roles, Michelle is proof that there is a cross between beauty and brawn. She also later claims that she wanted to give Frank a "second chance." Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Good night room. And was, we're guessing, bitten by Jared Leto on the last full moon. Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd.. You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter! Mayte Michelle Rodriguez was born on July 12, 1978 in San Antonio, Texas to Carmen Milady Pared Espinal, a Dominican housewife & Rafael Rodríguez Santiago, a Puerto Rican U.S. Army solider. Video: The Assignment Trailer Is Cheesy, Offensive Action! Which seems way easier than that flipper surgery. Mayte Michelle Rodriguez was born on July 12, 1978 in San Antonio, Texas to Carmen Milady Pared Espinal, a Dominican housewife & Rafael Rodríguez Santiago, a Puerto Rican U.S. Army solider. But there's a few big problems with that; namely that the movie turns the trans experience into a literal horror story in which gender confirmation surgery is repurposed to inflict, what the movie suggests, is a fate worse than death, performed by a crooked doctor who honed her skills by kidnapping and "mutilating" homeless people. The movie barrels on through one painfully-awkward set-piece after another, until Frank finally tracks down Dr. Jane, only to get caught by a squad of goons. Saban FilmsPresumably so streaming sites would place it next to the equally-nuanced examination of gender identity that is Ladybugs. Copyright © 2005-2020. ", We Can’t Believe This Dumb Movie Is Real: 'Assassin 33 A.D.', You Can Still Score Black Friday Savings On This Pop-Up Cabin, 'Brazilian Waxing' Became Popular Because Pubic Hair is Legally Too Sexy, The Craziest 'Die Hard' Sequel is a Forgotten Comic Book. You must have JavaScript enabled to fill out this form. Saban Films"Would you like to hear my opinions on butthole hands?". Tomboy) rips off his surgery bandages and lays eyes on his new body — featuring Rodriguez’s very real lady bits (yup, we mean everything) — and lets out a wail only fit for a B-list action flick. Yeah, that's the actual premise. In a shocking twist for anyone who A) didn't recognize Michelle Rodriguez, and B) didn't rent the version titled friggin' Ladyguy, Frank has now been transformed into a woman. You're almost done. But thanks to the raging opiate that is unchecked creative self-confidence, we still get movies like The Assignment, which stars Michelle Rodriguez as a hitman who, uh, forcibly undergoes sex reassignment surgery thanks to a vengeful doctor. Frank gets double-crossed by some mobsters, who are actually working for Dr. Jane. Michelle Rodriguez hit the beach and showed off her new hairy arm pits. Known for tough-chick roles, Michelle is proof that there is a cross between beauty and brawn. No one thought that Michelle Rodriguez's Life of Brian-quality beard was a bad idea. Then in the very final moments, we learn that Frank cut Dr. Jane's fingers off so she would never be able to practice revenge medicine ever again. That way, he won't be able to shoot anyone and the world will be "a safer place." Saban FilmsWhich seems way easier than that flipper surgery. The movie makes us painfully aware that Frank is a dude, as evidenced by the fact that Rodriguez steps out of the shower sporting a prosthetic dong.
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